I need you, baby, I'm not a monster.

BIG BANGGG♥

I will forever love this band♥

Soo, I'm traveling today, inshallah, to Malaysia.

I'm excited. 

I'll just forget the fact that MBLAQ and BAP will be there, and in Thailand and I won't be able to see them.

3adi, Inshallah in the future. :)

I have lots of places in mind in Malaysia

I MUST visit Kinokuniya and I MUST drink Bubble tea.

This is my first time in Malaysia so madri..bs we're going to Thailand b3ad, which will be my third time.

Lately, I've been wanting to grow up faster. Idk if that made sense..eh.

I want to visit so many places, on my own.

Not that I don't enjoy being with my parents, I can't survive without them♥

It's just that, idk, I want to try..

I'll keep on dreaming until I fulfill that dream~

Just close your eyes..

Is it bad to be a dreamer? Is it bad to fantasize and dream about your future?

I've always been a dreamer. Dreaming is what gets me through hard times. I know you're probably like, " What the hell is wrong with her?" Yeah, I think about that too.

This might seem funny to you but, I always dream that someday I'll be that one girl that everyone knows, that girl that made her parents so proud, that girl that changed something, at least one thing in her lifetime.

I dream that I'll be a linguist or, fluent in at least one foreign language.
I dream that someday, I'll save a soul.
I dream that I'll make my parents proud of me.
I dream that I'll have my dream job.
I dream that I'll have the body I want.
I dream that I'll be able to paint like famous artists.
I dream that I will be able to achieve a black belt in a type of martial art sport.


That's all I can think of right now.

I have many other dreams that are silly so I won't mention them. ;p

But yeah.

The question is, will I achieve or make one of these dreams come true?

Well, I'll try. I will. Enshallah. I must.

Hair conditioning

I've been having this weird obsession of taking care of my hair since summer started.

I don't really know why but mehh, that's good right?

My hair tends to be really dry and I've noticed that it's been falling A LOT ( that's bad at the age of 15 right? )

So anyways, I've been taking care of it (conditioning it, moisturizing it etc) for almost a month now, and I've noticed it's a lot better than before, al7emdellah. 

I've been using the seaweed shampoo and conditioner from Boots ( it's only 1KD, isn't that great?!)

 

 I also use Pantene's 12h NIGHT therapy before I go to sleep.

 

I love the smell, and it feels GREAAT!

When I wake up,  I moisturize my hair with The Body shop's Grape-seed glossing serum

and

I use The Body shop's Macadamia straightening balm when I straighten my hair ( which I rarely do)

 

'

I also try not to wash my hair a lot. Like, I usually wash my hair everyday or whenever I exercise. But now, I'd shower like, uhhh, let me explain XD, ya3ni, if I shower on Sunday, I won't shower on Monday but on Tuesday. Get it? I just wash my body everyday though.

I hope that helped you. Please take care of your hair!

...fail.

I need an air bag. Before I crash into the colossal sadness that is coming my way.

I can't study because I'm feel like crap.

I had physics today, it was okay. But then again, that could be a bad sign.

Just 4 more exams..and then I'm done, for the time being..

Be yourself, they say. Yeah, like that would ever work with a society like ours.

Here's the deal, Society these days, don't give the slightest fuck about what you feel, or how you feel, or even the purity of your heart. These days, it's just about looks.

You're good looking? Wow, 5las, I wanna be friends with you.

And you know what, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to aim for a size 0. Because I feel like a whale atm. :)

And don't tell me that you care. Because you obviously don't. You're just curious. And no one, will understand how you're feeling.

I just don't know what to say right now, or what to do.

I wake up everyday with this void inside my heart. I don't know, I just feel depressed all the time these days. And no, it's not because of exams.

I try to laugh, but would that work? would that fix all of my problems?

"My life is a rainy night that pours for 365 days."

I try, I swear, walla, to have a bit of hope that someday, SOMEDAY, I'll give that honest smile. But at this moment, that hope's curve is going down.

I'm feeling empty, confused, numb, hurt, disoriented, lost, vulnerable, blurry, tired, overwhelmed, anxious.

An utter mess.

And you know what irritates me? When people choose others over you, just because she's more interesting . And again, by interesting I mean, " Ombre colored hair" " I'm half Kuwaiti!" blah blah blah.

Like that wouldn't hurt.

I need a break from this world.