Sunday, September 30, 2012

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

It's me againn. Yeah, woohoo.

Today's topic is about Self Confidence. LOL have you noticed how all my posts are about Self confidence and perfection shit?

I try to work on my self confidence. Walla. Bs it's not working. Shasawi ya3ni.

Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm pretty, bs am I pretty enough?

Don't think ina I'm like Ugly Betty ( She's not that ugly 9a7?) bs anyways, I just don't see it. People come and tell me that I'm beautiful, that I look like a Brazilian ( lol Zanoob), a tumblr girl, and all that stuff. Bs why don't I see it?

Lama someone says " sh7alatich!" I'm like " akeed they feel sorry for me. " " You're so pretty!'  Lair. "I love your smile." No you don't. 

I just don't know what to do. And that really hurts. I may smile and laugh, bs do you see the inside? I'm torn apart.

I'm not like those " tanned, long wavy hair" girls.

I'm not fishing for compliments walla. I'm not an attention seeker.

I just wanna wake up someday feeling that I'm beautiful. And to me, that's rare.

Yes, it's a big issue to me. O madri shlon I'll fix it.

This issue makes me so sensitive. You know what? I could tell you that tears are forming right now. Oh right there, one is falling down. ( Yes, I'm crazy. Kaifi.)

I wonder when I'll have that self confidence. When I'll tell people that Yes, thank you, I am beautiful.

Laih meta ya 7e9a?

Monday, August 13, 2012

I just wanna be perfect.

It's me again. Obviously.

Soo, Ramadan is ending soon. I'm gonna miss it..

Anyways, I was supposed to get my IG results today. But some family issues came up, and mum didn't have the time to call the school. Even though I had been telling her for weeks. Guess I'll wait.

I don't feel like I did a great job. I always expect the worst...always.

Inshallah I did a good job..

Yu Ni, a Korean friend, is leaving today. Leaving Kuwait, forever.

I'm sad because like, she's really fun. Not because I love Korea or because she's Korean, it's just that she's the type of girl that would make you instantly smile.

I remember the first day I met her, she made me smile within the first 2 seconds we met.

She sent me a message on facebook. Thanking me for being so nice to her, and for being such a great friend.

She said she was very happy to meet me, and she's very glad.

And she even told me to come to Korea! She'll take me to concerts, to malls ( to stalk cute Koreans...jk..okay no really.) and stuff.

She said she'll never forget me. And tbh, I won't either. She's amazing.

I saw her mum in Ikea for the first time 2 weeks ago. She hugged me haha,

Koreans are so so polite.

So yeeah, I'm still waiting for my IG log in info...

Walla I feel like I've forgotten how to speak English. I haven't read in such a long time.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

And I would change everything.

Ever felt like you're never good enough? Like, whatever you do, will never satisfy anyone..not even yourself.

That's me.

Yeah, I admit, I have a problem with myself.

I don't have confidence. No self-esteem...nothing.

Everyday, I wake up trying to be a better person. That's good right?

I try to read more to improve my grammar and English reading skills.

I try to paint and draw to improve my drawing and paint like a proffesional.

I try to exercise to get that " Victoria Secret " body.

I try to learn how to cook to impress my family and my " future " husband someday.

I take care of my skin every day just to feel good about my self.

I try my very best in school just to make my parents proud.

But sometimes, all of that is just not good enough. Never..enough.

I have a problem, I know.

And to be honest, lately, I haven't been feeling good, or y'know, good enough. Heck, I don't remember the last time I've felt good enough, beautiful, or just...worth it.

Hmm, I'm just a teenager with problems.

I don't really get the point of this blog entry haha.

Oh wells, just emptying my heart....did that make sense? blehh.

hmph. Now back to PLL.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I am baaaack!

Imbarak 3laikum ilshahar! :*

Just came back from Thailand 3 days ago. A day before Ramadan<3

Thailand was AMAZING. I travelled to Malaysia and then from Malaysia, I went to Chiangmai.

Malaysia was good . But all I saw was Saudis! SO MANY Saudis! Not saying that it's wrong but  I didn't expect to see THAT much.

Thailand was better for me<3 More Kuwaitis haha, jk, I love Thailand. I met 2 Thai friends there! and had an amazing time with my family.

My bag was the only bag that weighed over 35kg. Whoops.

I will post and review stuff I bought from Malaysia and Thailand soon!

Ramadan Kareem and don't eat too much sweets! :p

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I need you, baby, I'm not a monster.


I will forever love this band♥

Soo, I'm traveling today, inshallah, to Malaysia.

I'm excited. 
I'll just forget the fact that MBLAQ and BAP will be there, and in Thailand and I won't be able to see them.

3adi, Inshallah in the future. :)

I have lots of places in mind in Malaysia

I MUST visit Kinokuniya and I MUST drink Bubble tea.

This is my first time in Malaysia so we're going to Thailand b3ad, which will be my third time.

Lately, I've been wanting to grow up faster. Idk if that made
I want to visit so many places, on my own.
Not that I don't enjoy being with my parents, I can't survive without them♥

It's just that, idk, I want to try..

I'll keep on dreaming until I fulfill that dream~

Monday, June 25, 2012

Just close your eyes..

Is it bad to be a dreamer? Is it bad to fantasize and dream about your future?

I've always been a dreamer. Dreaming is what gets me through hard times. I know you're probably like, " What the hell is wrong with her?" Yeah, I think about that too.

This might seem funny to you but, I always dream that someday I'll be that one girl that everyone knows, that girl that made her parents so proud, that girl that changed something, at least one thing in her lifetime.

I dream that I'll be a linguist or, fluent in at least one foreign language.
I dream that someday, I'll save a soul.
I dream that I'll make my parents proud of me.
I dream that I'll have my dream job.
I dream that I'll have the body I want.
I dream that I'll be able to paint like famous artists.
I dream that I will be able to achieve a black belt in a type of martial art sport.

That's all I can think of right now.

I have many other dreams that are silly so I won't mention them. ;p

But yeah.

The question is, will I achieve or make one of these dreams come true?

Well, I'll try. I will. Enshallah. I must.

Hair conditioning

I've been having this weird obsession of taking care of my hair since summer started.

I don't really know why but mehh, that's good right?

My hair tends to be really dry and I've noticed that it's been falling A LOT ( that's bad at the age of 15 right? )

So anyways, I've been taking care of it (conditioning it, moisturizing it etc) for almost a month now, and I've noticed it's a lot better than before, al7emdellah. 

I've been using the seaweed shampoo and conditioner from Boots ( it's only 1KD, isn't that great?!)
 I also use Pantene's 12h NIGHT therapy before I go to sleep.
I love the smell, and it feels GREAAT!

When I wake up,  I moisturize my hair with The Body shop's Grape-seed glossing serum
I use The Body shop's Macadamia straightening balm when I straighten my hair ( which I rarely do)
I also try not to wash my hair a lot. Like, I usually wash my hair everyday or whenever I exercise. But now, I'd shower like, uhhh, let me explain XD, ya3ni, if I shower on Sunday, I won't shower on Monday but on Tuesday. Get it? I just wash my body everyday though.

I hope that helped you. Please take care of your hair!